Am I Still Inlove?

I hate to post this question actually, because people might really think that I'm screwed. Or that I am not thinking straight. Truth of the matter is, I'm both.

How would you really know that you are still into him?

After being apart for more or less 2 weeks, I've somehow learned how to deal with my daily routine without him on my side. Though there were days that I would still get stuck with some thoughts of him, I could say I was brave to shrug it off.

Yes, I do miss him. But when I start realizing what may happen in the future really disappoints me.

I am not the mistress. I am not the other woman. I am not the one who is destroying a family. I just happen to be attached to a guy whose ex is using their kid to push him not to be in any relationship. Bull crap?! Yes I think it is!

I am not really far from how the ex is feeling right now. I've been there. I have also fought for me and my kid. I have wanted to have a complete family. I was even on the verge of accepting the title, "His Mistress" just so that my kid would grow up with his dad. But that was not the only thing that mattered at that time. I had to redeem my self. I had to prove that I am more that he thought. That it was his lost not mine.

Apparently, with his situation, he is allowing his ex to run his life. The life that he alone should be dealing with. He should be sharing his responsibilities to the kid and still live the life that he deserves. But this is not what's happening...

Any moment, when the girl finds out that he is hanging out with his girlfriend, he may not see his kid. How cruel can that be? Are you supposed to do that to your kid? Are you supposed to deprive your kid of something that he needs? Just because of your selfish thoughts and feelings? Think about it girl, it's your kid's life... not your life! How can you take your kid away from what makes him happy? And how can u take your ex's freedom away? Is that fair?


Then again... I have an option to step out of the picture, I know. However, I am at the point where I cant decide if I should or if I can. I want to fight for us. But will he be doing the same? I don't want to give up. But will he be strong enough not to give up on me? He has given me up once... twice... and yeah, I know there'll be the third time... And I hate to see that day. But I hate to think that I have not fought this battle. That I have not taken the risk.

So I guess, that answers my question. :P