Morning Realization

Have you ever shown appreciation to all the things that you CAN do everyday? How about the things that you can see? These are just some of the questions I have in my mind right now. A conversation with an old friend this morning surprised me with what he's going through right now. And I was glad that I had stopped to say hi and ask how he has been doing... He is fighting for his life! A truth I had to deal with calmly while I was infront of him. The color of his skin and his eyes have already changed due to a procedure he has to endure on a bi-weekly basis and yet he comes to work. Shrugging off the fear of rejection because of his appearance. While some of us may be spending thousands of pesos for gluta injections, he had to inject something to keep his hemoglobin level at a normal state. Again, to keep him alive. I dont know how he is able to deal with these. I am even surprised that with all these in his plate, he still has the courage to show me the scars of his suffering. It was like the scars are telling me, " Ms. Drey, look! I have made it this far!" There was a sting in my heart. I suddenly felt the burden of what he has been going through. And as much as I have tried to stay composed, I know I couldnt. So I had to bid goodbye. Much as I wanted to spend more time I couldnt hold my emotions. Is this really happening? How often do we realize that we are indeed lucky to be where we are right now? That with our petty cry because of a little push at work, a little increase in the weather temperature, a simple viral infection etc, would create a monster in you. When some people are praying to get well and spend another day of his or her life. I may be lucky that I'm not going through something comparable to what he has to bear but I feel his pain. Still I am grateful for this life. Despite shortcomings and the loneliness that sometimes pull my spirit down. This is my morning realization.

Living with Life

Life does not begin at 40, 50 or 60. It can start as early as 20 so long as you know what you are living for. Theoretically speaking, we are made for a certain purpose and we will discover that if we believe and obey. In this materialistic world we try to live by what the world has to offer, may it be essential or not. But who would say that they are happy and content with this worldliness?


Bottom line is, with whatever we have in our luggage right now we should know how to LIVE - live with living. Not just breathing and just wandering... Knowing what you are living for is the key.

Let me share Stacy Orrico's song "There's gotta be more to Life"

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more

Wanting more than what life has to offer is a bit selfish but its not wrong to dream and to aspire for greater heights. However, life won't give you all... God won't. Every thing will fall in its place at the right time... So just live life. CARPE DIEM.

27th Birthday

I havent had a good birthday celebration for the last 9 years... Maybe because I'm no longer into having one. This year I ended up having lunch with 2 of my closest friends and just bought a new pair of shoes as a gift for my self.

Yeah, I didnt receive any gift, neither from my closest friends nor from my family. Its just an up and go I guess. My family has been through a lot recently that I understood why they have forgotten my birthday (literally, yeah...). Well that is also the reason why I didnt intend to celebrate... There were a lot of things we had to focus on rather than having a party.

Im getting scared... thats what I feel right now. Scared of what life would bring me, my family. Whats more in this life that I have to endure? Would I really be growing old alone with my kid? Am I really bound to be a single parent my entire life? Am I not goin to have someone to share the ups and downs of having a family?

Could it be I'm not really ready to have a family of my own, thats why its not given to me yet? Could it be that it would be more difficult for me to live with someone? Or am I really bound to eternal singleness?

I know I still have to wait... forgive me for ranting...