Another Addition to our Family

Mom recently got married to Mr. William Riley. He just got here on May 8th and they got married on June 5. Proves to show how love can change everything. No if's and but's... What matters most is that they love each other...

Galera '08

The Henna Tattoo that means nothing.... hehehe!!!


With Candy, EJ's colleague. She is actually the main reason why we had to go here. I hope her stay here was worth the time and the effort. I will certainly see you again Candy, hopefully in Cebu.


Just before we hopped the Banana boat. It was really exciting and funny. The driver really took us in the middle of the sea as if he doesnt intend to take us back to Galera. " Manong, wla pa po kmeng plano bumalik sa Batangas!!"



Dare to be daring...


With Anj and Ja. Taken upon arriving the island. ATAT?!!!



The seashore and some of the peeps enjoying the beach.



Mindoro's sling. This got into me... after the 2nd pitcher I had to bid hello to my bed. ahehehe!!! But I surely love it.





In my attempt to escape from the loneliness, I went to Puerto Galera last weekend with friends (Danie, Ej, Edward, Anj, Ja and Candy). I would admit it wasnt enough but somehow it helped me ease the pain a bit.

A Kind Soul trapped in a Wretched Life

I really dont know if I should be happy to hear this comment from a not so close friend of mine. Surely the "kind" is a positive impression... but being trapped into something bad is like being cursed.

Am I really cursed? Is my life really destined to be difficult?

The only thing I could say to be wracked is my lovelife. Aside from that, I can say that I'm still blessed. Despite the fact that I've literally forgotten that I have responsibilities as a Christian. I've backslided more than 4 years ago. I could still remember how I devoted my life and surrendered my life to Him. I was on fire. I even had my own cell group. But everything disappeared in just a flick of a finger. I fell into temptation one time, and there it went. I wasnt able to recover my self. The guilt feeling was overwhelming that I wasnt able to pick my self from what I did.

I dont wanna say that I would never go back... I guess Im not ready yet to turn 180 degrees away from worldliness. I just want to assure my self that by the time that I surrender my life again, there's no more turning back.

Anyway, I am still loved. I'm glad that everyone from my world get in touch with me as soon as they heard what happened to me. Aside from that, Ive got the chance to talk to some people I havent talked to for quite a long time. There was this special man whom I had ignored when I fell inlove with someone before. Funny thing was, while I was busy trying to get someone else's attention, he was there... just there. Loving me in silence. It was only recently that I learned about his real intention and his great love for me. I was kinda surprised that he was able to supress it for 16 looong years!!! It was late to apologize though but I felt his pain. There was a little twinch in my heart. At the back of my mind, I was thinking that I've let go of the person that might have loved me wholeheartedly. "Nakakahinayang!!" I feel sorry for what I did. I was young and insensitive then. Hope he'd know how sorry I am right now for everything.

I deserve a break. Im planning to go to Galera this weekend. A time for me to take a moment in my life and RESET. There must be a lot of things I have been taking for granted and there must be a lesson learned from all these. I have to learn. I have to be wiser. I'm really looking forward to this. I hope this would help me to deliberate on how I want my life to be and what I want to have. Not just grab whatever comes along even though its not a good catch. Argh! That is not a good term.

I hope its not late yet. I hope Im not totally broken inside out. I hope I could still regain my trust and my ability to love. I know its not too late to move on and prove what Im worth. It is difficult but I dont want to sensationalize it. Surely, I want to make a difference this time...

How rare is my Personality

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ESFP)

Your personality type is playful, charming, open minded, and energetic. Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 5% of all men You are Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

Check out my Slide Show!

Meet and Greet the President of the Philippines2

meet gma2
Originally uploaded by hybridrey15

March 06, 2008, during our company's Inauguration,Her Excellency was our guest speaker.I was deeply honored to be part of it since I was selected to represent the teammates from our company. Though the picture that I have here does not clearly show the smile on my face, I hope that the sincerity of the author would make you believe that it is indeed one of the most memorable experiences in my life...

that was actually me she was smiling at... too bad the picture was taken from my back

Meet and Greet the President of the Philippines

meet gma
Originally uploaded by hybridrey15

standing next to me was the president. grrrr... the picture was taken at the side.... there were too many photographers and no one caught my smile! : - (

Another Week

Yeah... another week has ended and another week is beginning... counting days and counting weeks.... Why am I counting? What is the counting for? Seriously, I dont know. But I feel like I'm wasting a lot of time doing nothing good or not achieving anything at this point of my life...

But there's one thing new. I have applied for the TLI ( Team Leader Intern ) position in our company. Though I know I have struggles with my leadership skills, I still felt that the exposure and the experience would help me a bit to enhance my potentials. I know that there would be a lot of oppurtunities for me to grab in this new company and I'm just trying to check on it one by one... ahehehe!! nah... of course not, I know I can try... there's no harm in trying, right....

So, just pray for me... and wish me luck...

This is soooo sweet....

Just wanna share this piece. Was written by my dear friend Majid. This is actually the first poem, ever written for me. That's why I'm soooo touched....

Thanks again majid for being a good friend to me. ur so sweet....


JILTEDSUMMER

The reality is I don't care
About what they have to say
How I feel is how I feel
They can't change it anyway

The truth of it all is I like you
And it doesn't matter how they feel
we both know our friendship is real

The honest thing I have to say
Is you are my best best best best friend
And it's times like these that I learn
This friendship could never end.

we're back to the 80's

we're back to the 80's
Originally uploaded by hybridrey15

One of those DRESS UP FRIDAYS. Had to dress up in the 80's fashion to avoid singing Madonna's "Papa don't Preach". ahehehe!!

prom nyt with some of the girls

prom nyt with some of the girls
Originally uploaded by hybridrey15

From left to right: Angel, Raech, Kate, Bess, Hazel, ME, Raine and KG. Who's the fairest of them all?

prom nyt with charlene and gladys

prom nyt with charlene and gladys
Originally uploaded by hybridrey15

Just before we party. All of us were glamorous in our cocktail dress. See me? I'm shining, shimmering splendid...aheheh!!! With us are Charlene and Gladys, our product trainers.

prom nyt with hazel

prom nyt with hazel
Originally uploaded by hybridrey15

just before the party started, we had to take some pictures and get ourselves in the party mood.

Star of the Night awardee

star of the night award and the texters choice award
Originally uploaded by hybridrey15

with lovely ness as the Ube Queen and James as the Texter's Choice Awardee ...

Dress Up Friday

Taken last February 2, 2008. We had to party since this was our last Friday in Training. Almost a month of being together and here we are...

From a dear friend, Jammeh

Goodbye CVG!

Yup! You've read it right!!! After one year and 10 months, I am leaving Convergys Alabang. Its not a big decision to make since the place where I'm transferring at is not far from home (actually its just adjacent to the CVG building, aheheh), plus I have friends who have also moved to this new company.

I dont want to go into the details of why I'm leaving... and reasons why I am suddenly moved to give it a shot. However, I hope this would not imply that I am not grateful with the company.

By the way, I will still see you guys! I will just peek through the window.. ahehehe!!!

Christmas Sentiments...

Another Christmas had passed... This time, I was at work when all the rest of the people here in the country were having Noche Buena with their families. Too bad! When the clock striked 12, all that we had to do was greet each other at the office and send hugs and kisses at our so called chatroom. We didn't have to time to hug and kiss each other for real cuz we were having high call volume during that day, for a reason I don't understand... Had the Americans forgot that it was Christmas Eve?

Anyway, this year was quite different since I have a special someone to celebrate the holidays with. Though we were not literally together, I know that he is in my heart and same with him. The relationship may be a bit complicated as to compare with the others but I'm still happy with the way things are running.

I miss my partying though, aheheheh!! Last year, I had to block my schedule for a week since a have lotsa parties to attend to... Hmmm... what happened to me this year? The irony of it was, I was able to attend our office's christmas party when last year I didn't. I think times changing and priorities as well. But I miss my buddies, drinking buddies... ahehehe!!! The PEX people, my classmates in Highschool, my former officemates... urgh!

One good thing that happened this Christmas was, our family had the chance to be with my niece, Aleeia. She is with her dad ever since he and sis broke up. The kid stayed with us for 3 days which is not bad, ahehehe!!! I'm talking about 3 kids at home!! Imagine that!!!

For the past years, our close relative (from San Pedro, Laguna as well) would pay us a visit and celebrate with us. They didn't fail us this year and yes we had a great time! We were just hoping we would be complete :(. Since my sister is away, and my cousin is also in Qatar and is set to go home in March. Hopefully, next year will be better. But of course I could still say we enjoyed our time together, with the rest of the kids...

I'm looking forward to New Year's celebration, since I will be home and will be waiting for the clock to strike 12 and jump!!!! Hopefully to gain more in height ahahahha!!!

To everyone, hope you had everything that you want from your Christmas Wishlist!!!

rant... rant... rant....

I've always thought that when i'm into a relationship,it would fulfill all the emptiness in me... that it will make me feel complete... that everything would really be colorful... but then sometimes i could be wrong...

i am thankful for the good times i have with my special someone. i am also grateful for the love i've felt from him. never have i imagined that loving could be this sweet and wonderful. there are a lot realizations that this relationship has given me and these sometimes make me wonder if im really ready to keep this commitment.

its hard to love someone who has a different outlook in life. its hard to keep up to his expectations. its more difficult to live with someone who cannot assure you of what your future with him would be.

tell me one thing, is this how love should work? is this how every woman should endure? is this how every relationship endures?

im trying to figure out if it would be all worth it to let go rather than holding on to something that can't assure me of anything... aside from love (?) is this all that's gonna matter? what about the future of your family? what about the everyday dealings?

i've been torn and i guess will always be torn...

November 2007

One family reunion that we would always reminisce, since we have my big sis around this time. It is not often that we would have her on occasions like this. We spent the entire day at the cemetery and we got sunburns all over!!! argh!!

the original kaladkarin

the original kaladkarin
Originally uploaded by hybridrey15

from L-R, joy, ej, danie and me. we are always on the go! regardless if we had enough sleep or none we always wanted to go out...hehehe!!! we're missing alyne here though.... we miss you girl!

would you believe she's a bi??!!!

would you believe she's a bi??!!!
Originally uploaded by hybridrey15

one of my constant companions at work.. a friend i thought never really cared for me, but she does!

What's In My Name?

The name of Andrea gives you a clever, quick, analytical mind, but you suffer with a great deal of self-consciousness, lack of confidence, and much aloneness because of misunderstandings. Your idealistic and sensitive nature gives you a deep appreciation for the finer things of life and a strong desire to be of service to humanity. There are times when you experience inner turbulence at your inability to say what you mean. It is far easier for you to express your deeper thoughts and feelings through writing than verbally. You find pleasure in literature, in poetry, and in your ideals and will turn to them when you feel you have been misunderstood. You are deeply moved by the beauties of life, especially nature. Because your feelings run deep, you must guard against the ups and downs, being very inspired one minute, then moody, reserved, and depressed the next. Your reactions to people vary according to how you feel. You tend to be secretive and noncommittal about private matters, yet at times you will talk effusively in order to hide your self-consciousness or to lead others away from personal subjects. You are inspired by encouragement from others, yet suspicious of their intent. You crave affection but seldom find anyone who understands your nature. Physical weaknesses would show in your heart, lungs, or bronchial organs


what yours mean

Goodbye 91m19

Last Aug 25, I had to say goodbye to these people I had shared my daily routines at work. It was my last day in this team. And ironically, we had to celebrate! Hehehehe!!! This is just for the good times that we've had. I hope what I have contributed in the team would always be remembered...

Guys, just because Im no longer in the team doesnt mean I would no longer care. Im with you all through out... will miss you guys :)

My blog is worth......

My blog is worth $564.54.
How much is your blog worth?

gosh!! my blog is just worth this much?!!!

I guess my blog is really worthless after all... :(

i want...

I want the warm early morning kiss
to start my day right.


I want to feel your embrace
and feel security with those broad arms.

I want to spend the entire night with you
and just hide under your face.

I want to cuddle in bed with you
where nothing matters but you and me and our love.


I want those sweet little suprises
that would enlighten my ebbing mood.


I want to receive bouquet of white roses
that would reveal the sincerity of your love.

I want the long walk along the shore
hand in hand, where we are one with the world.


I want to wear your wedding ring
to let the entire world know how proud
I am to be committed to you.

27th Birthday

I havent had a good birthday celebration for the last 9 years... Maybe because I'm no longer into having one. This year I ended up having lunch with 2 of my closest friends and just bought a new pair of shoes as a gift for my self.

Yeah, I didnt receive any gift, neither from my closest friends nor from my family. Its just an up and go I guess. My family has been through a lot recently that I understood why they have forgotten my birthday (literally, yeah...). Well that is also the reason why I didnt intend to celebrate... There were a lot of things we had to focus on rather than having a party.

Im getting scared... thats what I feel right now. Scared of what life would bring me, my family. Whats more in this life that I have to endure? Would I really be growing old alone with my kid? Am I really bound to be a single parent my entire life? Am I not goin to have someone to share the ups and downs of having a family?

Could it be I'm not really ready to have a family of my own, thats why its not given to me yet? Could it be that it would be more difficult for me to live with someone? Or am I really bound to eternal singleness?

I know I still have to wait... forgive me for ranting...

rant rant rant....

already up at 2:30 am. cannot sleep anymore. had filed for VL for 2 days but i just ended up staying at home rather than goin out with friends, though i miss goin out with them... the fact is... the last time i went out with my circle of friends was last March 1. the rest of my days were with my colleagues.

anyway, will be celebrating my 27th birthday soon and im getting scared...

for one, in just a few years, i would already be reaching the age that most women fear... am i just over reacting or something??? i dont know.

i just hope this year would be more wonderful and meaningful...

i wont be making my wishlist yet, still early.. hehehehe!!

Letting You Go

i have been praying
that you wont leave me hanging around
that it would be your voice that will wake me up each morning
that we'll walk together,hand in hand

it has been so long
since i uttered those prayers
and it has troubled both my mind and my heart
but no answer was found
no answer was sent from above

i have watched a thousand sunsets
i have read a dozen novels
i have searched and searched for an answer
none, nothing
not even a hint was there

you know i need you and i love you
but i must go out in this world
and break this fantasy
so i am walking away
running,crying away from you

tonight my beloved
i am praying
in the same room that i have prayed before
i'll force my self to sleep and drift some sorrow
for tomorrow i am letting you go...


will be missing you......

Im depressed....

I have a depression I do have to admit,
Admit that I have been depressed.
Thinking how much I wish I could be
happy,
Thinking how much I want in life,
Thinking how much you can miss someone
you love.

When I look back I can see how much
this depression has been there in my
life.
I need this to be fake.
I need this not to be true.
Yet again its true I have this
depression that makes me sad inside and
the outside.

My depression has caused me to see how
sad I can be.
How it makes me feel,
How this depression makes me think of
cutting and suicide.
But we are all human.
We have all have something to overcome.
I will overcome this depression once
and for all.
I will fight back somehow.
This depression I will get rid of
someday...
For now I have to deal with it.

Mother's Day '07

Just had a little dinner at one of the restos in Alabang. This was just one of those memorable dine outs I had with my family since we dont get together that often. My sister was at home this time after being away for more than 2 years.

I love my mom, I may not be able to tell it to her personally or even let her feel it but I do. She is the only one who had struggled for us to survive. My dad had to leave us when I was 8 yrs old and my sis was 9. Imagine the hardship. She had to work most of the time and we had to understand why she cant attend to us. It is true indeed that mothers would endure a lot of sacrifices and pain just to give what would make her family happy and contented.

Now that I am a mom myself, a single mom that is, I also would like to do the best I can to provide whatever my kid needs. It may not be enough but I surely let my son understand the why's and how's of life. My son may not have the grasp of it right now but I know at the right time he would. He has to.

Im still keeping my fingers crossed that someday I would be able to complete the missing piece of my family. I hope he is there....

What a Relief!!!

The show cause that was given to me last month, ended up with just a written warning!!! whew!!! It was really a relief!!!

I was supposed to be suspended for 10 days. I have even asked my supervisor to give me straight 10 days for the suspension since I would like to take it as a break and a way to deliberate on things. I was prepared for it already... I have made plans actually, heheheh!!! Hey, who doesnt want to have a vacation??? :)

Well, Im still thankful God had helped me get thru with it.

grrrrr....

Just received a "show-cause" today, right after shift. It was for call avoidance. When I read through the content of the letter, no specific detail would imply that I did commit any of the offenses for this. It was only about dealing with the customer for 17 minutes and putting the customer in improper hold, which doesnt necessarily mean that I tried to avoid the call or something.

I was stunned.

I dont really know if this is part of politics or something. But I know something is not right. My previous supervisor had to deal with the letter. He understands the gravity of the offense being subject to me when in fact there isnt any issue at all. I mean, there is but he doesnt see where I had really committed the offense. He offered to take charge of the reply. And yes, he mentioned every detail why I shouldnt be sanctioned.

Its not the end of it though. I have to wait til monday. My present TL and I would need to discuss this. I know Im not to be sanctioned for termination, but I know there is someone with greater power who has a say to this issue and that is what im afraid of.

I can leave the company, why not? What is hurtin me is thought that I would be leaving the people I have lived with. These are great people and I love them.
Its not easy. It wont be easy.

But still, im keeping my fingers crossed. Hoping that I may be able to get through with this.

Is there a real love waiting for me?

I know that im not the only one who experiences this type of melancholy... and whenever it strikes there's nothing i can due but to endure the pain and the sudden sadness that fills my heart.

My thoughts are being bugged by relevant things in MY world. I surely get by. Im ok. Im happy. But bein happy doesnt necessarily mean that you are content, right?

It may not be appropriate for me to ask more than what i have now. But it would be hypocrite of me to let go of this wantness to be with him.

I have loved a few and let go of some... this I know... however i have to look for the missing piece of my jigsaw puzzle. How and where, I dont know yet...

Keep on waiting... waiting... and waiting... but what if there's really nothing and no one to wait for?

Summer Shindig '07

from L to R : Anj, Ja, Danie, moi and Ej




after the "Amazing Convergys Race"



... and the winner is.... us!!!


... and the winner is.....




mah team...

It was our company's summer outing. held at Spash Oasis Resort on April 8, 2007.

My first DSAT for this year

After bearing the tag "CSAT Champion of the Team" for some months now, I just received the bad news last Friday about the DSAT (dissatisfied) I surprisingly got from a call not long ago.

I could still remember the call... It was from a racist customer who would want me to connect his call to an agent from the US. But of course, I enthusiastically replied that I could assist him with his concern. He even commented, "lets give it a try!!", with a sarcastic tone.

It was just a simple reinstatement of his services, nothing more nothing less. He never asked for any other details on his account neither any promotions on goin. I did my job and we ended the call. AS simple as that...

It is a big pain for me and my career. All the while my boss is encouraging me to apply for better positions at the office, which I guess, I should have prioritized at that time. With this at hand, it would take a few months for me to be able to grab the title again and work on my achievements....

CSRL '97... 10 years onwards...

Yup, 10 years has passed already and yet we still have the same longing for this friendship. We might have our own priotities now and own lives to manage. But still we try to catch up and make this thing last our lifetime. Its funny though that here we are, busy with our own shit but these guys have not forgotten to go back where they really belong. We had matured though... some of us dont really cry over a piece of cake that someone takes from us... but we do if its our guy who's being taken from us...At least we've grown up a bit... hehehe!!!

These are just some of the shots we had. April 6-8, 2007 Bato Springs, San Pablo, Laguna.

CSRL>

in the corner of my mind i know he is still with me, beside me, whispering words warm enough to melt my heart. his face flashing right before my very eyes. my heart pounding at the very sound of his name.

my thoughts are just all about him. my plans include him, asking God to make him mine. groping at every chance there is to see him and feel him. breathing just for him and his existence.

with the messages he sends me, my heart is filled with joy, keeps me on my feet. trying to digest every word, comprehending the thought beneath those words. wondering if he knows how he means to me.

and every time i go to sleep, his thoughts and sweet promises keep on echoing at the back of my mind. bringing smile in to my face after i say my evening prayer. wishing that by the time i wake up its you i would see.

still i wish there's something i could do to change how things are right now. hoping we are both free to love and we both feel something special for each other. but damn... im just a friend...and i guess im the only one who misses him... :(

Chasing Butterflies

Have you ever tried chasing after butterflies? It's tough...if not virtually impossible.Won't do anyone good to chase after something so elusive much less have a relationship with one. That reality has been constantly being rammed into my thick skull for the longest time. But alas there is something so very mesmerizing about butterflies so very intriguing yet so deadly.It may be a magical experience but only for a limited time because butterflies tend to fly away without hesitation to their next destination. Hanging on to them is futile because you are just a stop over after all. The hurtful part of the experience is that you get left behind without a warning. One day you're up in the clouds the next day you're down on the ground and you never knew it coming.I heard someone say that when you're heart takes a big blow and it gets torn into a million pieces, your heart grows back bigger than it was the first time. Maybe that's why I could feel no anger just a quiet acceptance and deeper understanding. Sure the tears are there but my feet is still firmly on the ground this time and i have a stronger resolve not to chase after butterflies...i keep my palm open this time. So go on and fly...you're free to fly...my butterfly.I firmly believe that I am worth coming home to and build a home with...since you choose to fly away...then i guess you're not the one for me. Somewhere, someone, sometime i'll be found and i'll find the one for me. And that would be the happiest day of my life...no more chasing after butterflies.

Went out just yesterday with Joy and Alyne. Kinda figured out I had to let go of the pain I'm goin thru right now. These are just some of the friends who understand what I'm goin through right now and the hell that I'm in right now. Thanks for the true friendship. Cheers!!

Christmas countdown....

im really getting excited... why not? here's to good season, good food and good people... not to mention gifts and merry-making!!!

i have already blocked my schedule for this coming week end ( Dec 9 and Dec 10 ) to attend a group party in Marikina and Alabang respectively. And also will be out of town come 17 and 18 with my online friends whom i have shared a year already goin out and making fun with our singleness. Yup, we are a group of singles and we never treated this friendship as a nesting place for relationship. nice one huh...

im no longer excited for the gifts... and im no longer expecting one... last year i guess i ended up having 5, and i guess this year would be less... and so what? for as long as im happy and contented...

what makes this season special? honestly, none...its just one of those regular holidays that i need to celebrate because everyone is celebrating it. and of course i have to teach the little kids at home what this season is for, what we usually do at this time of the year. i know there is greater meaning for this.. but im an apostate though not entirely...confusing? yah.. im confused myself...anyway, hope everyone will get what they want in life... and i also hope to get mine as well... whatever it is, i'd better keep it to myself... and i guess im not really sure what to ask for...

missing him...

in the corner of my mind i know he is still with me, beside me, whispering words warm enough to melt my heart. his face flashing right before my very eyes. my heart pounding at the very sound of his name.
my thoughts are just all about him. my plans include him, asking God to make him mine. groping at every chance there is to see him and feel him. breathing just for him and his existence.
with the messages he sends me, my heart is filled with joy, keeps me on my feet. trying to digest every word, comprehending the thought beneath those words. wondering if he knows how he means to me.
and every time i go to sleep, his thoughts and sweet promises keep on echoing at the back of my mind. bringing smile in to my face after i say my evening prayer. wishing that by the time i wake up its you i would see.
still i wish there's something i could do to change how things are right now. hoping we are both free to love and we both feel something special for each other. but damn... im just a friend...and i guess im the only one who misses him...:(

When love leaves

Love will always have its inherent myteries.it is a mystery why we fall in love--when it comes, how it happens, why some relationships grow and others dont. many try to decode this mystery, to find reason and cause, but in the process take the life out of the experience of loving.

when love comes to us,we try to hold on as firmly as we can, blind to the reality that just as life is a gift in its time, so is love. when the time comes that we fall out of love, or when leaving them, we desperately try to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accept the gift for what it is.

at this junction of your life, you may be searching for answers where there are none. you may be wondering if there is something wrong with you, or if changing your partner or yourself will make a difference and help love blossom again. you may blame yourself, each other or the circumstances in an attmept to give meaning to what has happened. but maybe there is really no meaning beyond love itself.

at times in the process of takin care of ourselves, we may need to change some parameters in a particular relationship. at other times just as it is in your situation, it becomes inevitable to end it. this, in fact, holds true for all kinds of relatinships, whether romantic or otherwise.

ending or changing a relationship is not easy. but often, is necessary.

we may at times linger in relationships that have long been dead out of fear of being alone, and to suspend the inevitable grieving process that accomaonies endings. we may linger long to prepare ourselves to get strong and ready enough to handle impending change.

accepting that a relationship has ended is difficult. it calls for courage and faith that we will receive the power and the ability to do wat we need to do. at the same time, it requires a willingness to take care of ourselves and, sometimes, to be alone for a while.

the lesson is simple yet rich. love has its own time, its own season and its own reasons for coming and going. if and when it chooses to leave,. either form your heart or from the heart of your lover, be thankful that it came, even if just for a moment. and if we keep our hearts and souls open, it will surely and definitely come again and finds its way home.

Thanksgiving '06

Great!!! yah today U.S. will be celebrating thanksgiving and that means... long avail!!!! ahihih!!! oh what a joy!!! this is the simple truth for guys working in a call center. the only day we always look forward to!

I remember last year, when i was still working in makati the company that i was with had this one-day training on soft skills and a bit about the product. this year, the company that i am with right now STILL wants us to be on queue. argh!!!!

the pain of working in a call center is that we dont get holidays off, though we get double pay. but sometimes its more than the money... sometimes we want to enjoy the long weekend that Gloria implements... and hello to the Milenyo typhoon!!! there was no power for almost 4 days in our location, but hell our office had so we had to go to work despite the incovenience of not having water for shower and not having enough sleep. du-du-duh!!!

have to bring a lot of food at work tonight...pig out!!!!

jilted me....

i never meant to be so cold. specially to you. you're so nice. you're all heart, sweetie. you're something special.
and you are not just another notch on my belt.

please don't think i'm such a passionless person. i do feel what you're saying. and it's breaking my heart to hear you say that.

i care about you. and i'm not lifeless not realizing that you taking me home and introducing to your friends is not a big deal. i know it is. and i feel your sorrow. of course. i'm human too.

before we parted, i saw sorrow in your eyes. i guess you were thinking ahead.

maybe if i can get my affairs in order, you can give me a chance. if it's not too late.

i really like your attitude a lot. you are a lovely girl. and don't let anyone tell you or make you feel different. it's just me. so much has been taken from me and now i'm inanimate.

i'm not everything everybody thought i could be.

a letter i have received from someone special in my life now, a person i thought could be real... as i went thru the contents i felt a tear streaking down my cheeks. somehow i felt im special and that im appreciated. but thats just it... nothing more, nothing less....

My Man

it has been my fervent desire
to wake up each morning
and see your face beside me,
assuring me of your love and
your endless faith.

to close my eyes in the middle of the night
with your lips close to mine
that will seal the promise
of this new found love.

to walk the along the shore
with your hands with mine,
comforting my heart's desire
that you are mine forever.

to hear your voice every now and then
and give me the courage to go on with life,
telling me that im all that u desire
and the one who will complete u.

to feel the warth of your embrace
when the night starts to get cold
reassuring me that im finally home
with the one ive waited for... my man.

All Soul's Day '06

After some time, it was only this year that we had the time to gather ourselves and visit our departed loved ones. Before, we would end up visiting our friends'departed loved ones since we cannot find time to go to Manila where our departed are laid.

This year, it was really fun and memorable. We have some close friends and relatives with us to share this holiday while we reminisce the times we had with our dear loved ones.

I only got 2 hours of sleep this day, but i find it all worth is spending quality time with them...:)

wait for the man who will lead us lovingly :)

Wait for the guy who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of guy who brings out the best in you and makes
you want to be a better person, wait for the guy who will be your best friend, the person who will drop everything to be with you at anytime of the day no matter what the circumstances, wait for the guy who makes you smile like no other & when he
smiles you know he needs you, wait for the guy who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats & have no makeup on.

it has always beeb a great feeling to beloved by someone... to feel that special attention... and treating you like you are the most precious woman in the earth...

been always ready to love and hoping that this time it will be for real ....

this is the song that has captured my heart recently....

"Chasing Cars"
by Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world



chasing cars

just recently, went overnight swimming friends in pansol, laguna. got the chance to be with long-time friends. how i miss those days when we would be together after work and have 2-3 hours of sleep and go to work again.. ahihhi!!! thats addict mode!!!

goodluck to our lovelife guys!!!

whew!!! good grief...

just got back after 3 days of staying in the hospital. my mom was confined, when she had 2 hours of heart

palpitate

last monday. it was a good thing though we were able to go to the hospital immediately, otherwise it could lead to stroke or anything that may result to blood clotting in her heart.she's fine now....:)

panic mode, is that the right term for what ive been reacting the previous days? after the last conversation we had, any girl in her right mind might just think its really over. however my guy just thought im in panic mode (?) . thats fine, as long as i know where to put my self now....but i must say thank you when he left me some messages while i was in the hospital, he gave me a bit of bright light... :)

what now?

been going with out with friends lately. i guess this is my way of recovering, or my only outlet to release the pain im goin thru right now. in a way, it helps me to divert my attention and drives me not to think of him. cuz whenever im alone thats when the loneliness strikes.my exbf has mentioned that i stop dwelling over something that isnt really worth it. he has bluntly told me not to get into anything right now. now he makes sense! never thought he would still be concerned with me, i guess. anyway, i hate to say this, but at my age, i regret that i still have not learned to discern which is right and wrong, which is true and sincere, and if its worth the time and the feelings. i will be okay... ( i hope)

sad part is, i miss him... terribly! i miss the way he makes me feel good... i miss his promises and sweet nothings... i miss the feeling of having someone special in my life and the thought that someone is just out there... giving me extra care...it has been a year now since my last relationship. And here goes Christmas again... will have to wear a mask and pretend to be merry, when inside all i want is to feel the warmth of the season from a special someone. Am i just being sentimental jerk or exaggerating or something....


anyway,
for almost 3 months, i have not seen this group of friends i have. I am just sad that there has been some issues that has been going on that has lead to some misunderstandings in one way or the other. all im concerned about is the friendship, im afraid that what we have started before might end up nowhere. i just hope this guys would be able to patch things up.

sober

at 11:30 am, im still up after my shift from 9pm-6am. why not? i deserve some time to relieve this pain im goin thru right now....
been emotional for the past few days. had to take sleeping pills just to be able to get decent sleep. my brain has been bugging me to much that even on my sleep i have to scream! damn this heart of mine!! damn this emotion!! as in damn it!!!
i'll get over you... i'll be over this feeling for you... i will no longer be expecting anything from you... will never believe you... i will nver believe that there will be an US...
ohhh.. its raining... the weather just felt what m feeling right now.... geez... why did i let my self believe in you? why did i let my heart fall for you? i hate love.... i hate being inlove.... DAMN!!!!

it CLICKed!

After quite a while it was only today that i finally had a time to watch DVD at home. And i never regret that i spent 2 hours this morning to watch this film, which served as an eye opener for me.

Know the common cliche, "Live life to its fullest", "Savour every moment", "Spend each day as if its the last" - all these apply to this movie. Its actually a wake up call for us to manage our time wisely and do whatever we have to do to make our loved ones feel loved and special.

It actually made me cry... Knowing me, im a tearjerker myself. The scene when Michael (Adam Sandler),learned that his dad passed away and he tried to go back to that last time that his dad tried to spend his time with him and he was just that pathetic not to respond to his dad's love, it really sent a pang of pain in my heart. And there is another one, when he was about to die... he felt guilty for all those times that he wasnt there for his family, that he didnt know his family at all because he was so preoccupied... plus the remote who somewhat "malfunctioned".

this is to give u the morale of the movie, hope u would share the same feeling i had after i watched the movie..

.........B E R months

Yah right, the year will almost be over. Sarap!!! I could smell Christmas and New Year!!! ahihihi.... That means, great food, good gifts and friendly people. Egsaaaaytiiiing!!!

And here we go again, I will be spending Christmas alone and cold.... No one special to celebrate with aside from my family. No one to make this season memorable. No one to kiss under the mistletoe... But its still early to tell. Who knows? hehe!!!

The other day, my exboyfriend called me up. After the hi's and how do you do's, he told me that he would be getting married this coming December to the girl who was actually the reason why we broke up. Well that gives me another reason to hate the ....BER months.

T O R N

hmmm....had a very good sleep today, well i guess. a decent sleep for me is getting 5-6 straight of sleep hehehe. anyway, yes im torn. why? hmmm.... i dont know if im actually exaggerating e. the only thing i know as of this moment is that i cant think appropriately. a guy is out there, saying he likes me.... but then we havent met personally and i dont know if there would be a spark once we see each other.another thing is he doesnt know about the skeleton in my closet. i guess im still afraid to face the reality that he might turn his back on me :'(
and there's this another guy, who has been consisted enough to talk to me everyday until late at night and who knows everything about me... the sad thing is that i dont like him as much as the other guy. so do u think im still exaggerating?

My birthday wish

Birthday comes only once in a year and every time that it arrives we are always thinking how we could actually make that day extra special. Sometimes gifts can bring out joy and also express thoughtfulness. However, sometimes these are not enough to make the day.
At my age, gifts are not enough to make me feel contented. I am more on the intangible aspect of life, which is very rare for us to keep nowadays. I guess all matured people do understand that we are no longer concerned with what we see but we focus on what we feel. I believe is what I want this time.
I have continously searched for that someone who will make my life more meaningful, and who would love me and accept me wholeheartedly. I dont know if I have found him already, but I do fervently hope that the guy I am dealing with right now, would actually be that someone I have longed for all my life. It may be a little early for me to say this, but I guess Im all ready to take the risk of being inlove... and this is what i ask more than anything else on this day... that i may be able to live my life with him, forever....

Confessions, Pt. 3

i just checked on some blogs here and this caught my attention.... i guess it will do me no harm if i share this anyway...
Confessions, Pt. 3