whattaday!!! just had 4 hours of sleep,know why? i had to meet up with a special someone.... tsk,tsk,tsk....
anyway, i have met this special someone last september of 2001 (believe!). we were chatters in a chatroom before (broken hearted chatroom) and we got to meet on a birthday party of a chatter as well... after that day, we had been constant textmates, and gradually he admitted that he liked me... and who am i to refuse this guy? he's smart, good-looking and oozing with talent. a no ordinary guy i should say...i felt good during those times, cuz i have also learned to like him. he left a smile in my face whenever the day ends. and i should say that he has a spot in my heart.
however,let me tell you one thing that made things complicated... he has a girlfriend;3 years at that time.so at that point, we cannot do anything since he loves his girlfriend more... i never tried to change his mind...and i never asked him to leave her or whatever. i just took everything as it is. to make it simple, he has his girlfriend and i was just the special friend, i guess.
time has passed and look its already 2006! how are we doing? well, we still get a chance to be together once in a while. there was even a time when i was in a relationship, we still go out and had a time on our own, but of course nothing fancy... But then he had another girlfriend (who happen to be a friend of mine)i tried to stay out of the picture... of course, i felt envious and jealous... i never had the chance to go out with him at that time cuz i think he was damn busy with his new found relationship. i was envious, why we didnt end up together instead? why he had to look for another one when i am just here?! i was sad... very very sad.... but again i didnt do anything and i didnt try to change him. their relationship didnt last long... so again... i got "in" to his life again or should i say he noticed me after a while... honestly,i was glad that the relationship had ended, though i know in his heart that he truly loves the gurl. but fate had its own ship to sail....
now, i dunno if i should be asking the same question again.... now that he is single and I am single, why cant we just continue what we had before? we still get to see each other, so that means WE still like each other right? so whats missing? i like this guy very much, and given the chance i would like to have him OFFICIALLY in my life,but i dont want to confront him neither ask him whats the status nor his feelings for me cuz im afraid i'd get the worst reply. i dont know what to do.....
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