Saturday, February 14, 2009

Blue on a Red Day

It's Valentine's once again...

For the last 28 years in my life I havent really had a Valentine's Date. I'm talking about dinner by candle light, quiet time in a peaceful mountain gazing at the stars, or just merely surprise visits by a partner with flowers and chocolates.

Its not fancy talking. Some women are really into mushy stuff like me. We dream of having that moment where we would feel that our hearts would be melted by the effort by our partners to make this day extra special. "Kilig Moments" kumbaga.

My heart is still yearning for the love of someone who would unselfishly give my heart's desires. Who would pave the way to make my dream wedding a reality. Who would help me build dreams of having a family with me. Who would accept me wholeheartedly for the woman that I am. Who would relentlessly exert the effort to make me happy. Who would stick with me through think and thin, thru pain and laughter. Who would stay by me til the day I die.

I thought I found him already. I thought I was happy. I thought I was complete. I thought I would never ask more than his love.

But there's more in our relationship... And it had to end....

It has already ended.

Sad truth is reality bites. Not only bites but it swallows you whole. Once you've given something, it would still ask for more, more than what you can take. Take that part of you that you keep for your self til you have no more.

It has taken that dream of being with someone. I got tired. Tired of understanding. My patience got exhausted and drained. It was bitter to say that he never tried to win me back and patch things up. Painful is an understatement.

Nothing could take that lost love and trust which I have worked hard for our relationship. Nothing could glue this broken pieces of my heart. Its unmendable. Its torn. Completely...

I'm still hurting... All I can do is just pray that may God take away the pain and just stop my heart for falling for someone. I dont think I can take another blow. I might not take it anymore...

There goes my Valentine's thoughts....

2 comments:

sha lang ako said...

As they said, only time can heal the pain. Chillax Drey... God is just, He will not give you something you can't carry.

Kung ako sa'yo, mag-kemerlu kemerlu ka muna, chinorva kita dito oh...
http://edzspace.blogspot.com/2009/02/ive-been-tagged.html
mag-anekish ka ha pag chorva mo na. para di naman masyado ma-eklavu ikaw. keribels lang yan. :)

Jiltedsummer said...

salamat girl sa pag-Latin sa comment mo, naintidihan ko sya.. in fairness...

wait for my entry....