On Chris Brown and Rihanna

I'm not really a fan of the couple. Honestly, I wasn't even aware that they were until the incident(that's one of the perks of working in a call center). But why post something about it? Because if the accusations are true, Rihanna and I will have something in common...

Year 2000. My ex and I have already parted ways. There was no commitment. But we still see each other often since we went to the same school in college. Aside from that, my kid was with him. I just visit their pad everyday to take care of our kid. Most often, I would stay there and sleep there for days. During that time, we still do what we used to do as a couple(if you know what I mean). At school, we would still go together on our classes and during breaks. Just for companionship, I guess. Although I would admit that during that time, I was still hoping that we would still be able to patch things up. I have greatly loved this guy. Of course, I have a kid with him. I thought the baby would actually be the reason for us to stay together; that the kid will be binding us together, but I was wrong.

It occured after class. I went straight to his place to do the usual mother thing. He then arrived with his girlfriend (mind you, he was already married at this point. Womanizer!) This gave me a little pinch. How could he bring this girl here? Where his son could see? Where's his respect for me and our kid? But knowing the type of "relationship" we were into, I had to keep my thoughts and control my temper. I couldnt show how jealous I was. I had to pretend that it was ok. What I had in mind then was, he was fooling his wife, not me. But it still effin' hurts.

I went outside to check them out. I was able to greet them with a smile. After a few exchange of hypocrisy, my ex had to get inside. Me and the girl were left in that awkward and unusual situation. While trying to scrutinize the type of girl that she was, I noticed that she was wearing a ring that looks the same as mine. What the F?!!! I had to ask the girl where that ring came from and she replied that it was given by my EX. I thought I lost mine a few weeks back and seeing it with her triggered something else. This called for a fight.

I forgot what respect meant at that moment. I felt my heart plummeted. My blood rushing in my head, boiling at 100 degrees. I even felt my mind saying to grab her hand and take off the ring. I wanted to scream for the multiple events of disrepect in just one day. How could he?!!!

When he got back, I immediately asked him where my ring was. In front of his girlfriend I confronted him. With fury eyes and a heart ready to palpitate anytime. After series of interrogations about the ring, he led me inside the house. And there it happened.

The first blow of his fist was in the bathroom. Why in the bathroom? Since I got scared with his threats I tried to walk away from him. But as I step back he would take a step ahead. The bathroom was the dead end. I knew at that point that he was serious about hurting me. And he did. The first punch was supposed to be in my face, but I had to avoid it so his fist landed at the back of my ear. There was a big contusion.

Next thing I know, I was in our room packing my stuff and my kid's. While packing, we still said mean things to each other. I for one was very furious and I felt a dymamite just blew. He then hit me in my stomach. Not only once... I curled in bed like a fetus because of the pain. One landed in my arm. It left a big purple-reddish mark. This was when I cried. The anger and the pain was so much for me to take. Never have I imagined that stories about battered wives or partners would actually happen to me... At the early age of 19.


I continued packing our things. I was so determined to leave that hell with my kid and never to go back. I swore that I would no longer be seeing him and that I would be keeping my kid away from him. I thought my sobs would soften his heart but unfortunately it didnt. It didnt stop there.

He dragged me out of his house. A guy who's 5'9 in height dragged me like a little kid. Careless that my dress would be torn. Not contented with the outbursts earlier. I felt so belittled and abused. After all the love and understanding that I have given him, this was all I would get. Not only emotional pain but also physical.

It was a nightmare. One of those that I never thought would be happen to me. I was able to recover from it but God knows how long I have waited patiently to get over it. I'm still thankful I didnt end up with my ex. If that was the case, this incident would not be the first and last.

I wonder if I could be an advocate for NGOs for women against physical abuse...