I can still recall, the last glance at the airport. It was quick. Never had the chance to embrace him though my heart was yearning to hug him tightly. We thought we could still stay longer inside the airport but sadly I cannot go inside. Which I think was better. Because I dont know if I could bare seeing him go. I even hesitated to go with him at the airport but I know he would want my presence, and would want me to be the last person he would see before he boards the plane.
As I turned my back, I felt pain... Pain of being away from the person who have shown me more than what I deserve. My mind kept playing all the good times we shared together and all the "firsts" that I had with him. At the same time, I was thinking what is next after this.
We never failed to keep in touch. I thought he would not be able to keep in touch for some time because of his work but he did! And this really brightened up my day. This somehow keeps me sane as I look forward to his promises...
After a week, I never felt it would be this difficult. I never thought that I would miss him this much. I never thought that I would crave for his presence. I never thought that I would regret not showing more than what I did when we were still together. And I never thought that this would make me realize how much I really love him.
There's a lot of what if's in my mind. There's a lot of answers left unanswered. There's a lot of things I would need to compromise since I chose to be in the relationship.
And I need him to be my side. To assure me that he is here to stay - forever... Inshallah ( In god's will )...
I hope he will be the last page in my colouring book. Where it will not only be me who will put colors in my life but together with him, we will paint our world with bright lights. When I would finally say that the search is over because I finally found the one for me....
"Under the bright sunny sky and over the deep blue sea"
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