My Man

I know a lot of you are eager to know a lot about the guy who has recently changed my life. I havent found the time to sit down and share the story since I have a lot of catching up to do at work and at home.

Dating back 2006 was when I first met him. Not personally though. October 16, 2006 according to my diary. After consecutive days of talks over the phone and over the net, I felt he was someone special. Special in the sense that he has different perception in life and has a different approach when it comes to love. I admire his thoughts and I love what he made me feel at that time.

This inspired me to write this - Nov 1, 2006

MY MAN

it has been my fervent desire
to wake up each morning
and see your face beside me,
assuring me of your love and
your endless faith.

to close my eyes in the middle of the night
with your lips close to mine
that will seal the promise
of this new found love.

to walk the along the shore
with your hands with mine,
comforting my heart's desire
that you are mine forever.

to hear your voice every now and then
and give me the courage to go on with life,
telling me that im all that u desire
and the one who will complete u.

to feel the warth of your embrace
when the night starts to get cold
reassuring me that im finally home
with the one ive waited for... my man.

My heart was vulnerable. And I guess throughout those days I felt that we could be more than just friends. Since I was in the state of wanting to feel loved, we tried to be more than what we were. But it didnt last that long. He has his own reasons. At that time I might have not really understood his reasons but I didnt have much of a choice but just to let it go.

Months had passed, years had gone. We managed to live our lives the way it should. But he never failed to keep in touch. We treated each other like good friends. If you would be looking back at my posts in this blog, you would see a literary piece and a video that he had made for me. He knows everything that happened to me. He was even there when I broke my heart again. He called me up and I remember bursting in tears. Never had I thought that he still feels something special for me.

Til this year.

I dont know if it's God' will. Or if its just the right time. We started talking again. Just like the old times. He planned to take a vacation here in the country. Being a friend, I felt glad that we would finally see each other for real. I would finally see the man that I fell in love with. And being with him, would prove what kind of friendship we can keep between us.

It would be hypocrite of me not to say that I never felt something special during those times. A voice was telling me that this guy was trying to be kind and sweet. I was even thinking if there would be a chance that he would like me the way he used to. But I shove the thoughts off. I dont want to keep my hopes high and end up disappointing my self for wanting more than what is on the line.

But he has his own way... He planned the vacation with me. And before the planned had been finalized, he wrote this in his blog:

WAS I ASLEEP? HAD I SLEPT?

open your eyes...open your eyeeeees...I don't know why those words stuck inside my busy mind since the last time I saw Tom Cruise movie...Vanilla Sky ...actually the movie was enigmatic but the voice of Penelope Cruz when she said those magical words open your eyeeees was really fascinating those words rings inside my busy mind higher than mosques Minarets and stronger than Churches bells...

I waited since the last time you said hello ... I waited for you to strike my sense when I open the doors of my mind...maybe the recalcitrance's inside my mind disobeys the ordinary life...or maybe your hello will be my life's promising dance with you.

sometimes I think you are just in my imagination... I am not fastidious...I am and hundred of times...I am complex simplicity.

Time is short And I am sure...There must be something more...Things will never be the same...There is no living life again.

You met me at a very strange time in my life.

When I first read this, my heart was in awe. Any girl will be moved by his lines and his every word. And what I have in my mind then was, this girl must be very lucky to have him for a lover. Again, I shove the thought that it could be me.

Then one day, while having our usual conversation, we were talking about this piece. Thats when he told me that it was for me! I was like, "What?!!!" Thats when I realized how he planned for all these.

How can I let go of a man like him? How could I be clueless of his real intentions? How could I ignore his sincere effort to win me back? How could I not believe that he is here to stay in my heart for good? And how could I not love a man who has been doing the work to make me happy?



"From aircraft to aircraft,
from hotel to another hotel,
from an island to another island,
I love you"

I remember him saying this to me and I was really touched. All throughout the vacation, he never failed to prove to me that he loves me. He shares his thoughts and his plans about us. These flatter me a lot. And I cant just wait for all these to come true.